I've made a decision today regarding this blog. I've enjoyed writing to all of you trying to explore my relationship with food, trying to become healthy, to lose weight and to take you all with me on the journey.
I was confident that I could lose 60 pounds in 365 days. It was mathmatically possible, all I needed was will power and the right diet. There was nothing wrong with my will power, although some of the diets that I've tried were extreme and not right for me.
I was doing really well until Dolores died 12-21-09. Since then I've struggled with this endeavor on a daily basis and I still am struggling.
At my appointment with my physician today, we discussed the fact that I need some help with my grief. I thought I could manage this on my own and with Aaron's and my Mom's help, but I think I need to talk with a grief counselor. I don't think I can progress with dieting or becoming healthier until I settle some issues with my grief. I will be making an appointment soon so until I'm settled, I'm going to be signing off.
Those of you who wish to continue a relationship with me, please contact me on my facebook page or on my e-mail. I still need your support and prayers and your loving comments.
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
It's a good thing that we cannot predict the future, most of us would not want to live through it.
This is my last posting for this year. I will update everyone in early January as to my next blog, which will be the poetry that I've written as I struggle through this process. Not sure what I will name it yet. Look for my new blog name on my facebook page and in your e-mail in early January.
I welcome your comments.
-Jill Angel Langlois
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Monday, October 11, 2010
Calvados - enjoying some as I write this
Calvados is an apple brandy from the French region of Basse-Normandy.
Calvados is distilled from specially grown and selected apples, of which there are over 200 named varieties. It is not uncommon for a Calvados producer to use over 100 specific varieties of apple to produce their Calvados. The apples used are either sweet (such as the Rouge Duret variety), tart (such as the Rambault variety), or bitter (such as the Mettais, Saint Martin, Frequin, and Binet Rouge varieties), with the latter category of apple being inedible.
The fruit is picked (usually by hand) and pressed into a juice that is fermented into a dry cider.
It is then distilled into eau die vie (water of life). After two years aging in oak casks, it can be sold as Calvados.
The longer it is ages, the smoother the drink becomes. Usually the maturation goes on for several years. A bottle of twenty-year-old Calvados can easily command double the price of a bottle of ten-year-old Calvados.
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
So sorry to see that I've lost one follower. I know it's hard to wait and when you're in limbo waiting for the kitchen of your dreams to be completed, things tend to get very boring. The waiting, the hoping, the dreaming, the building up of recipes to try as soon as the stove is hooked up. I've purchased so many new cooking untensils and equipment and they are all still in their boxes just waiting.
I thought I would educate all of you on Calvados. Aaron just poured me a little and it is so delicious. Apple brandy. And the perfect season to be tasting something apple-flavored. He's sipping some Talisker Scotch tonight. He says it's reminiscent of buring leaves. Oh, I just tried a sip and he's right.
I went to Target today to pick out a birthday card for my Baby Cousin, Jared. I stopped by the candle section and they actually have a candle that smells like a rustic cabin. Amazing. I couldn't believe it. If it wasn't $13, I would have bought it. Come to think of it, I still might!
With all of the natural, rustic looking brick that's going up in our new kitchen, I've decided that the perfect medium of decoration would be colored glass. Brick and glass are almost the same common denominator and they are so pretty together. The brick is red, brown, grey, gold, silver, black, oh, so pretty. The glass I chose is the color of jewel tones, ruby, emerald, sapphire, amethyst and I'm also going to add topaz and smokey quartz. I'm on a colored glass hunt now.
Calvados is distilled from specially grown and selected apples, of which there are over 200 named varieties. It is not uncommon for a Calvados producer to use over 100 specific varieties of apple to produce their Calvados. The apples used are either sweet (such as the Rouge Duret variety), tart (such as the Rambault variety), or bitter (such as the Mettais, Saint Martin, Frequin, and Binet Rouge varieties), with the latter category of apple being inedible.
The fruit is picked (usually by hand) and pressed into a juice that is fermented into a dry cider.
It is then distilled into eau die vie (water of life). After two years aging in oak casks, it can be sold as Calvados.
The longer it is ages, the smoother the drink becomes. Usually the maturation goes on for several years. A bottle of twenty-year-old Calvados can easily command double the price of a bottle of ten-year-old Calvados.
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
So sorry to see that I've lost one follower. I know it's hard to wait and when you're in limbo waiting for the kitchen of your dreams to be completed, things tend to get very boring. The waiting, the hoping, the dreaming, the building up of recipes to try as soon as the stove is hooked up. I've purchased so many new cooking untensils and equipment and they are all still in their boxes just waiting.
I thought I would educate all of you on Calvados. Aaron just poured me a little and it is so delicious. Apple brandy. And the perfect season to be tasting something apple-flavored. He's sipping some Talisker Scotch tonight. He says it's reminiscent of buring leaves. Oh, I just tried a sip and he's right.
I went to Target today to pick out a birthday card for my Baby Cousin, Jared. I stopped by the candle section and they actually have a candle that smells like a rustic cabin. Amazing. I couldn't believe it. If it wasn't $13, I would have bought it. Come to think of it, I still might!
With all of the natural, rustic looking brick that's going up in our new kitchen, I've decided that the perfect medium of decoration would be colored glass. Brick and glass are almost the same common denominator and they are so pretty together. The brick is red, brown, grey, gold, silver, black, oh, so pretty. The glass I chose is the color of jewel tones, ruby, emerald, sapphire, amethyst and I'm also going to add topaz and smokey quartz. I'm on a colored glass hunt now.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
The in-between times
Not much happening right now. I have another physician appointment on Tuesday and I'll update all of you then.
The kitchen is not ready yet. Although alot of progress has been made. The fridge, dishwasher and microwave are in place. The dishwasher is not hooked up, the sink is not hooked up and the stove is still in the garage. Ray is working on the entertainment center, the shelves in the living room, dining room and the table this coming week.
Almost there and getting VERY anxious to start cooking with all my new equipment.
We went to see my sister, Marie yesterday. Nicolas just turned six so we celebrated his birthday with a mostiaccoli dinner. Then we all sat outside by the fire and roasted marshmallows, talked, laughed, enjoyed the kids, the night, the stars, the weather. Just beautiful.
I'm still having a horrible time trying to deal with Dolores being gone from our lives forever. I just can't wrap my brain around it completely. I was having another hard day today. I made beef stew despite how I felt, and it turned out really well. We ate that while watching Dexter.
I spent some time outside today just sitting enjoying the breeze and letting my thoughts wander...
The kitchen is not ready yet. Although alot of progress has been made. The fridge, dishwasher and microwave are in place. The dishwasher is not hooked up, the sink is not hooked up and the stove is still in the garage. Ray is working on the entertainment center, the shelves in the living room, dining room and the table this coming week.
Almost there and getting VERY anxious to start cooking with all my new equipment.
We went to see my sister, Marie yesterday. Nicolas just turned six so we celebrated his birthday with a mostiaccoli dinner. Then we all sat outside by the fire and roasted marshmallows, talked, laughed, enjoyed the kids, the night, the stars, the weather. Just beautiful.
I'm still having a horrible time trying to deal with Dolores being gone from our lives forever. I just can't wrap my brain around it completely. I was having another hard day today. I made beef stew despite how I felt, and it turned out really well. We ate that while watching Dexter.
I spent some time outside today just sitting enjoying the breeze and letting my thoughts wander...
Saturday, October 2, 2010
Scan results
Waiting for my Mom to arrive so we can go together to get Mongolian BBQ and Sushi. So healthy!
The results of my scans showed I have 2 herniated discs in my neck and several of my lymph nodes are enlarged but there is no specific cause that could be detected. The neurosurgeon did not recommend surgery at this time. The discs are pushing slightly against my spinal cord but not enough for surgery. He recommends that I go back to my family doctor and continue to look for reasons why my lymph nodes are enlarged and why I'm still becoming dizzy when I stand up. He said the scans did not show any reason for my dizziness.
So I have more appointments coming up. Good Grief!
For breakfast today we had lox and bagels with onions, tomato and capers. Delicious. We skipped lunch.
I had another stressful week this week but we still ate pretty healthy so that's good.
The results of my scans showed I have 2 herniated discs in my neck and several of my lymph nodes are enlarged but there is no specific cause that could be detected. The neurosurgeon did not recommend surgery at this time. The discs are pushing slightly against my spinal cord but not enough for surgery. He recommends that I go back to my family doctor and continue to look for reasons why my lymph nodes are enlarged and why I'm still becoming dizzy when I stand up. He said the scans did not show any reason for my dizziness.
So I have more appointments coming up. Good Grief!
For breakfast today we had lox and bagels with onions, tomato and capers. Delicious. We skipped lunch.
I had another stressful week this week but we still ate pretty healthy so that's good.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
A Trying Week
A trying week. And all the while I was trying to keep my head above water. Work has been very stressful with my work load.
I had my 2 MRIs and MRA on Tuesday morning. It took 3 hours and I had many thoughts during this time. It's very hard to sit absolutely still for 3 hours straight. They are looking at my soft tissue, bones, blood vessels and nerves. The results came back today and I have to see my neurosurgeon on Monday at 9am to go over everything and what is going on with me. Hopefully he'll have an answer for me.
I had a great week foodwise. We ate healthy and felt better for it. Lots of salad, chicken, Mediterranean food, fish and veggies. I do feel good eating this way.
The kitchen remodeling project is coming along beautifully. Ray is putting up the brick along the wall by the bar area. Our new viking microwave with convection arrived today and it's gorgeous. My cook book stand arrived and Aaron bought me a torch to make creme brulee with. He's such a great support to me.
FOOD FOR THOUGHT:
I wanted to say a little something about poetry. We recently watched a great movie called Blue Car. It is a new movie that went straight to DVD. It's about poetry, coming of age, writing what you truly feel inside and it's also about divorce and the pain it causes the children involved. It inspired these thoughts...
"One night recently, Aaron, me and my Mom sat down with Wallace Stevens's poem: "The Emperor of Ice Cream" and we looked at that poem for about 2 hours and it looked so much different than it did when we first glanced at it. It's a great poem, a sarcastic twist underneath the surface of his words. Some poems are not good, meaning they don't have a root or a nucleous, they are just fluff and gush and I hate this kind of poetry, it makes me want to throw up. However, when you experience a great poem, (Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night by Dylan Thomas) it will change you and you will remember it forever. One of my favorite poems is "The Lovesong of J. Alfred Proofrock" by T. S. Eliot. Have you ever read it? It took him 8 years to write it. It will probably take 8 years to analyze it, but once I got the meaning of the root of the poem, I never forgot it. The sound of a good poem is musical and it will touch a nerve that you didn't even know was sensitive until it's too late and you feel sucker-punched. Your guts will be twisted and you'll react emotionally and may not even understand it. That's why analyzing a poem is so important. You may end up loving a poem that you first hated. You may hate it because it touches you and you don't want to be vulnerable but you can't help it. It's telling the truth and you know that truth..."
I had my 2 MRIs and MRA on Tuesday morning. It took 3 hours and I had many thoughts during this time. It's very hard to sit absolutely still for 3 hours straight. They are looking at my soft tissue, bones, blood vessels and nerves. The results came back today and I have to see my neurosurgeon on Monday at 9am to go over everything and what is going on with me. Hopefully he'll have an answer for me.
I had a great week foodwise. We ate healthy and felt better for it. Lots of salad, chicken, Mediterranean food, fish and veggies. I do feel good eating this way.
The kitchen remodeling project is coming along beautifully. Ray is putting up the brick along the wall by the bar area. Our new viking microwave with convection arrived today and it's gorgeous. My cook book stand arrived and Aaron bought me a torch to make creme brulee with. He's such a great support to me.
FOOD FOR THOUGHT:
I wanted to say a little something about poetry. We recently watched a great movie called Blue Car. It is a new movie that went straight to DVD. It's about poetry, coming of age, writing what you truly feel inside and it's also about divorce and the pain it causes the children involved. It inspired these thoughts...
"One night recently, Aaron, me and my Mom sat down with Wallace Stevens's poem: "The Emperor of Ice Cream" and we looked at that poem for about 2 hours and it looked so much different than it did when we first glanced at it. It's a great poem, a sarcastic twist underneath the surface of his words. Some poems are not good, meaning they don't have a root or a nucleous, they are just fluff and gush and I hate this kind of poetry, it makes me want to throw up. However, when you experience a great poem, (Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night by Dylan Thomas) it will change you and you will remember it forever. One of my favorite poems is "The Lovesong of J. Alfred Proofrock" by T. S. Eliot. Have you ever read it? It took him 8 years to write it. It will probably take 8 years to analyze it, but once I got the meaning of the root of the poem, I never forgot it. The sound of a good poem is musical and it will touch a nerve that you didn't even know was sensitive until it's too late and you feel sucker-punched. Your guts will be twisted and you'll react emotionally and may not even understand it. That's why analyzing a poem is so important. You may end up loving a poem that you first hated. You may hate it because it touches you and you don't want to be vulnerable but you can't help it. It's telling the truth and you know that truth..."
Friday, September 17, 2010
MRI-MRA
I haven't written for awhile because I haven't been able to get to my computer. Our loveseat and 2 recliners have been in our office all week while our new floor was being installed. It's beautiful!
We took today off and Aaron, me and Mom went to the eye doctor then out for lunch at Pappadeaux in Westmont. I had a Shrimp Po Boy, which was very good. I could only eat half of it. Then we went to a wine tasting at Phil's store, Wine Knows, in Grayslake. We came home, took a nap and then watched a movie. It was a nice day off.
Tomorrow we are going to be with some friends who we haven't seen for about 5 years. It will be nice to catch up with them.
I've been making some pretty nice meals in our little kitchen in the basement. I've made egg plant parmesan, tuna melts, lamb and beef over whole wheat pita, meat pies, spaghetti, etc. It's worked out very well.
Since I've written last, I've found out that my dizziness may now be related to my herniated discs in my neck. I went to see a neurosurgeon who needs to get a few MRI views and an MRA. This is an angiogram. They will shoot die in my neck to look at my blood vessels to make sure they are all ok when I turn my head certain ways. I have a feeling my herniated discs are pressing against my spinal cord, which is why I'm getting dizzy. But the tests will be able to tell that and hopefully this can be fixed...surgery? Most likely.
I'll keep you posted. My tests are on Tuesday morning.
Until then,
-Jill
We took today off and Aaron, me and Mom went to the eye doctor then out for lunch at Pappadeaux in Westmont. I had a Shrimp Po Boy, which was very good. I could only eat half of it. Then we went to a wine tasting at Phil's store, Wine Knows, in Grayslake. We came home, took a nap and then watched a movie. It was a nice day off.
Tomorrow we are going to be with some friends who we haven't seen for about 5 years. It will be nice to catch up with them.
I've been making some pretty nice meals in our little kitchen in the basement. I've made egg plant parmesan, tuna melts, lamb and beef over whole wheat pita, meat pies, spaghetti, etc. It's worked out very well.
Since I've written last, I've found out that my dizziness may now be related to my herniated discs in my neck. I went to see a neurosurgeon who needs to get a few MRI views and an MRA. This is an angiogram. They will shoot die in my neck to look at my blood vessels to make sure they are all ok when I turn my head certain ways. I have a feeling my herniated discs are pressing against my spinal cord, which is why I'm getting dizzy. But the tests will be able to tell that and hopefully this can be fixed...surgery? Most likely.
I'll keep you posted. My tests are on Tuesday morning.
Until then,
-Jill
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Fantastic Weather Today!
What a fantastic day! The weather was beautiful and I spent some time outside weeding my flower gardens. I bought a couple purple mums for my pots on my front steps and an orange mum for Dolores's flower box.
I made 2 different recipes - Tyler Florences's mac n cheese and Rachel Ray's meat pies in phyllo dough. Both very good.
Then I spent some time outside on my deck thanking God for such a beautiful day. I wanted Him to know it didn't go unnoticed.
__________________________________________________________________
We had a terrific time with my Mom this weekend. Friday we brought over some White Castle hamburgers for her birthday along with some champagne and 4 champagne glasses, which were a gift from Aaron. I bought her a blue topaz bracelet to go with her earrings. We watched some music videos - Dream Theatre.
Saturday we went to Johnny's Chop House for dinner and then back to our house to watch some more Dream Theatre. We were so tired that I was in bed by 9pm. I slept until 9:40am this morning. It was wonderful.
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
We're in the midst of chaos with our home renovations and this week is going to be intense, but it's all going to be wonderful after it's completed. So in the midst of chaos, I hope to remain calm and creative.
I made 2 different recipes - Tyler Florences's mac n cheese and Rachel Ray's meat pies in phyllo dough. Both very good.
Then I spent some time outside on my deck thanking God for such a beautiful day. I wanted Him to know it didn't go unnoticed.
__________________________________________________________________
We had a terrific time with my Mom this weekend. Friday we brought over some White Castle hamburgers for her birthday along with some champagne and 4 champagne glasses, which were a gift from Aaron. I bought her a blue topaz bracelet to go with her earrings. We watched some music videos - Dream Theatre.
Saturday we went to Johnny's Chop House for dinner and then back to our house to watch some more Dream Theatre. We were so tired that I was in bed by 9pm. I slept until 9:40am this morning. It was wonderful.
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
We're in the midst of chaos with our home renovations and this week is going to be intense, but it's all going to be wonderful after it's completed. So in the midst of chaos, I hope to remain calm and creative.
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