Heal N Cure

Well, I may not have been excited about Heal N Cure before, but I am now!!! I just made the best health decision of my life!!! I had an appointment today at this weight loss center and here are the results of what happened:

The Doctor took my BP, urine, did an EKG, a Spirometry test, a BIA which is a test that tells you how much fat vs muscle is in your body and your hydration levels (where your water is. Is it in your cells or outside of your cells trying to get rid of toxins?) I have 30% body fat and 70% muscle. They even told me how much my fat weighs and how much my muscle weighs! There is not enough water in my cells because I have too many toxins that are trying to be washed away. Part of the plan is going to be to get rid of the toxins (alcohol, some foods, medication, etc) so the water will stay in my muscle cells.

My EKG was "pristine" but my Spirometry test was not. I am not getting enough oxygen in my lungs and therefore my weight is harder to come off because my body is releasing steroids so I can breathe. (she said like I have my own Prednisone factory).

I am going back there tomorrow for the fasting blood panel that will show absolutely every possible thing that blood can show. Then in one week I will see her and we will start my plan on May 5th. Cinco De Mayo!!!

The man that was giving me the BIA test is a licensed Lipidemiologist/Cardiologist and talked briefly about what it was going to take for me to burn fat and build muscle. He said America has it wrong and ALL of the diets out there including Weight Watchers have failed miserably. He said the single way that I will burn fat is to eat fat. Low fat diets are the absolute worst thing in the world and it's making everyone fat. I sat there with my mouth hanging open and thought of all the low fat foods in my house right now. He said before he started this program, he was eating 1,950 calories to maintain his body weight. Now he eats over 3,000 and most of it is good fat and he's trim and healthy and full of energy. Huh? He also said that the number one food to help you burn fat is eating lamb. We LOVE lamb! He said he and the Doctor will tell me exactly what to eat and when and how it will affect me.

We talked about my general aches and pains and the Doctor said that was not normal and we would get in to that later. She also said that the Glipizide that I'm on for Diabetes is not what I should be on. She said Glipizide is like beating a tired horse. It will go really fast at the beginning but then fall off and slow down really fast after that. I've been on this for over 2 years! Apparently it's doing absolutely nothing for me anymore. I am seeing a medication change in the very near future.

She is a wonderfully happy, bright, caring, nurturing and affectionate physician. Very hands on and appreciative that I came to see her for help. Her assistant is also very happy and nurturing.

The last words I heard as I left the room was, "This is going to work for you. It's never not worked!"

I am so very excited. I told Aaron all about it on the way home since he was not able to come with me. Aaron is so interested now that he wants to make an appointment as soon as possible.

The best news is that our health insurance is going to cover the costs and we'll have to pay co-payments each time we visit.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT:

I found out about this place when a new person came into my life earlier this month for a totally unusual reason. When we met, our personalities clicked instantly. For some reason she began talking about some of her problems (she didn't know I had the same problems) and that she got help at Heal N Cure. When I mentioned that I had the same problems, she gave me the number and told me where it was (across from where I work). I made an appointment and then saw her again and we talked some more. She told me to tell them that we were friends and that she referred me. I did and everyone there who knew her got a big smile on their face at the mention of her name.

Now I may be a little dense (well maybe alot) but I do know when God finally hits me over the head that I shouldn't ignore it. Even though I may have ignored everything else that He was trying to lead me to...

You know, the story of the man who prayed to God that He would show Himself to the man and God sent a rainbow and the man ignored it. Then the man prayed to God that He would touch the man and God sent him a butterfly and the man ignored it, etc.

...well my experience was so blatantly obvious that even I could get it this time! Amen!

Fantastic Weekend!

We had a fantastic weekend! Friday night my Mom had us over for dinner. She made one of John's mom, Eleanor's recipes. It was macaroni noodles, tomatoes, onions and bacon. She also made a salad and canned green beans. We can't forget the garlic bread. She makes the BEST garlic bread. Mom had some Kim Crawford Sauvignon Blanc and a bottle of Willamette Valley Pinot Noir. Excellent choices and they were so yummy. We had a great cathartic talk during dinner, just the three of us. Then we decided to come back to our house to watch some music videos, such as Chris Cornell in Audio Slave. We listened to Sound Garten, Audio Slave, Jimi Hendrix, Jeff Beck, Pearl Jam, and then pulled out the videos to Woodstock and the Monterey Jazz Festival and watched Joe Cocker sing his heart out and Ravi Shankar play his heart out.

Saturday we slept in, did some chores, and then went to The Chicago Theatre to see Anthony Bourdain from the Travel Channel's "No Reservations." He had an hour and 1/2 stand up talk with us and then took 30 minutes of questions from the audience. It was really fun. We stopped at the Halsted Street Deli next to The Chicago Theatre and shared a hot pastrami sandwich with swiss cheese and spicy brown mustard. It was the best!

Today my Mom and I went to the Confirmation Service at Church for our 2 secret prayer pals. It was a really touching and personal service. Each Confirmand was called up with their families putting their hands on them while a prayer was offered to bless their soul. I was in tears (of course!)

After church, my Mom came over for dinner. I made a filet mignon and a small baked potato for each of us and some Hot and Sour Soup. They loved it and it's so healthy. If anyone wants the recipe, let me know. We watched some Anthony Bourdain because we "caught the bug" last night.

The cats were really enjoying our company today. Dolly was extra "talkative." She really has come a long way in opening up to us. I think Aaron has really done some great "trust" work with her. He sings to her and walks around and around the kitchen table with her patiently. She loves the attention.

Back to work tomorrow...drag...I was having such a great weekend! Oh well.

Faith Walk

My Mom and I had an interesting evening. 2 years ago, our church had asked members of the congregation to become secret prayer pals for Confirmation students. Dolores and I signed up. We each received a profile and a photo of a young girl in her 1st year of confirmation classes, so we knew who they were but they didn't know who we were. We prayed to help nurture their faith, sent them anonymous cards and little presents for their birthdays and Christmas, etc. We received updated profiles and new pictures this past year. Well, tonight was the night that the secret prayer pals would be revealed and then on Sunday, they will officially be Confirmed at a special afternoon service and my Mom and I are invited too.

I asked my Mom to come with for support and I had a gift for both of our "girls." It was a beautiful cake and punch reception where each student was called up to receive their certificate, gown and Bible verse. Then the prayer pals were called up to be revealed. Mom went up with me for Dolores's girl and I went up for my girl. After the ceremony I explained to Dolores's girl what had happened. She was wearing the necklace that Dolores gave her for Christmas. It about broke my heart but now after thinking about it for awhile, Dolores had touched her life in such a positive way that she wanted to show her gratitude by wearing her necklace. That is just so rich and I am so thankful that Dolores is still touching people. The girl was so disappointed not to be able to meet Dolores but I promised her that I would get to know her.

Dolores had been struggling with her faith for awhile and I thought this would be a good idea for her to learn to pray for someone else. It was also a good experience for Dolores.

By the way, I did not have any cake or punch! Ha ha. No kidding, I'm trying to be good.

I ate a chicken sandwich with roasted red pepper and onions for dinner. This afternoon I ate a lighter lunch than usual and when I was hungry later on about 3:30pm, I ate 1/2 apple with some natural peanut butter. Pretty tasty.

Aaron and I are looking forward to going to the Chicago Theatre this Saturday to see Anthony Bourdain from "No Reservations" on the Travel Channel. He's supposed to be really good with his one man show. We are doing this for our anniversary - a little early. We'll be married 13 years May 31st. On May 27th we are going to the Sybaris overnight and then maybe into the city for the Matisse exhibit at the Art Institute. I say maybe, because you know that Sybaris can sure wear you out!

Peace of Mind

I had a lovely talk with my Pastor today and he helped to put my mind at rest. He's agreed with my personal path to serenity with regard to my baggage issues. So me, Aaron, my Mom and my Pastor (and God) are all on the same page. Boy, that's a relief! And before Dolores died, I knew how she felt about "things" too, so I can even include her.

Aaron has to see a gastroenterologist for some digestive issues so I made some eggs and toast last night and tonight I picked up an unseasoned rotisserie chicken, Amish potato salad, Hawiian rolls and some green beans from Walmart. I love that store.

I had my hair done and I'm not real sure I like it. I think if I was 25 pounds lighter I might like it better. I also gave myself a manicure and pedicure tonight.

I received a recommendation for a place in Northbrook, IL called Heal N Cure. It's a bariatric center that deals with weight loss issues. They specialize in treating obese people with Diabetes among other things. So this person who recommended it has diabetes and has lost over 30 pounds and feels terrific. I made an appointment for next week. I have to find out about it. If I am a candidate and my insurance will cover the cost, then I'd like to try the weight loss program. I'll keep you posted.

Food For Thought:

I'm at the perfect place in my mind now where I am just on the verge of a healing journey and I'm real strong. I've summoned up my courage. I want to take off running. (Don't forget, I'm also a Taurus, so this is one of my traits anyway.) I'm snorting and stomping my feet. Let me out of that bull pen! Poco Toro!

Aaron and My Mom

I really want to thank Aaron for helping me with my inner turmoil over the years. He has been with me through thick and thin. We really have had to deal with alot of major issues since we've been together these past 14 years. He's a very good husband and counselor. I can trust him. His advice has been proven out over many trials. Most recently, my Mom had found some very inspiring advice for helping me with some "baggage" issues and this information was exactly what Aaron had been telling me for years. It was a great confirmation of what seeds Aaron had been planting within me all this time. It made me very happy and excited that I am on the road to becoming well both inside and out.

This confirmation has given me some terrific energy since Thursday. I've been feeling much lighter in spirit and also in body. It seems I don't need to eat as much.

I met with my good friend, Joyce, on Saturday. We had lunch together and talked about some of our issues and how we are both re-decorating our houses. It was fun. We met at Fuddruckers in Highland Park. I ordered a hamburger with cheese and bacon and some fries and diet soda. I was only able to eat half of the hamburger and just a few of the fries. I took it home so Aaron could have a couple bites, then threw the rest of it out. That night my Mom came over and the three of us watched a movie and listened to one of our favorite bands, 311. Baby sat in my lap for awhile. It was family-bliss!

Today I had so much energy that I decided to cook a healthy feast. I baked chicken thighs with olive oil, garlic, rosemary and lemon slices. I sauteed some broccoli, water cress, red and green peppers, and mushrooms. I made some yellow rice and also a "salad" of cucumber and red onion mixed with olive oil and lime juice. Aaron opened up a really good Bordeaux and used the good wine glasses! We watched another good movie and just talked for awhile. (We're still helping me through some baggage issues - helping me put things into place so I can have peace of mind). Baby sat in my lap again today and I felt so loved by Aaron, my Mom and my 2 cats that I just needed to write about it.

Food For Thought:

I am blessed to now have my Birth-Mom back in my life. We have a great relationship. She is so easy to be with and I love her very much. She tells me she loves me all the time.

Weird Cat Night

I had an ok day today. I was having a tough emotional day just thinking about Dolores and really missing her.

A co-worker and I shared our woe today and it was very nice knowing that she could trust me.

It was a weird cat night though. Dolly our 8 year old girl has taken to strolling around the dining room table with Aaron following her holding her tail and/or petting her.

Baby, our 16 year old boy, decided to try eating the bird ornaments on my Eternal Tree in the living room. Aaron yelled at him and boy he stopped short. I sat on the floor and petted him just the way he liked and he hauled off and bit me. Then snorted and walked away with his tail in the air. (?) I just don't understand it all yet. I guess I'm learning. What the heck did I do wrong?

Last night our financial advisor had a dinner for his clients and Aaron and I ordered baked chicken with feta cheese pieces, lemon and oregano with fresh cooked vegetables. So we had the rest of what was left for lunch this afternoon. For dinner we had some thin crust pizza with sausage, mushroom and shrimp and some red wine. Does that fit into the Mediterranean diet that I've been writing about? Hmm.

Food For Thought:

I'm been examining my relationship with food since October. I wonder if I should think about examining my relationship with my body. I am going to ponder on this new thought for awhile and see what I come up with.

Ladies Afternoon Tea Party

Well, I was going to apologize for my digression on my last post. However, I just read it again and I don't think I need to...

I guess I just have a classic case of depression which would make sense since I am constantly ruminating over the things that aren't right in my life, wanting so much to make them right. Typical!

Ok, so I know you are all waiting to hear about our Ladies Afternoon Tea Party that took place on Sunday so here goes. I bought a new table cloth and napkins - a yellow background with lighter yellow flowers. I bought some green forks to go with my green white and gold with red plates. I made bright pink mini metal sandpails filled with purple Hershey's kisses and a packet of flower seeds for each place. I had a small ceramic bunny and a yellow candle in the middle of the table with a pink creamer and sugar bowl. It was beautiful!

For the food, I had a fruit plate of canteloupe and strawberries; a veggie tray of radishes, celery, mushrooms and cherry tomatoes; deviled eggs; green olives and pickles; dates; quiche bites; then I cut out shapes in the white bread of hearts, tulips and butterflies. I filled the hearts with chicken salad with cranberries and walnuts; the tulips with cream cheese, water cress and cucumber slices; the butterflies with cream cheese and black forest ham. I decorated the plates with rosemary sprigs. I served this with hot tea, iced tea, diet sodas, coffee, and some white wine.

For dessert I made Paula Deen's recipe for mini cheese cakes. Place a Nilla wafer (flat side down) in each paper cupcake holder in your muffin pan. Beat 2 8 oz blocks of softened cream cheese, add 1 cup sugar, 1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract, 2 eggs-beat one at a time. Pour into cupcake holders and bake for 25 minutes at 350 degrees. When completely cool, spoon raspberry pie filling on top of each, add fresh raspberries on top. They were so easy and delicious. (Makes 12)

Christine brought 2 different kinds of cookies, Lynette made chocolate covered strawberries, and Marie and Gianna brought chocolate mini cupcakes. My Mom brought the yummy Kim Crawford Sauvignon Blanc wine.

Aaron did most of the cleaning and moving around of "things." He ran to Kohl's to buy me a hot water boiler/carafe - that he picked out. He calmed me down when I was running out of time. He did laundry while we were "talking girl stuff." He poured the wine, took care of the cats, ordered dinner and gave me a big hug when the day was done. How lucky am I? Quite lucky indeed.

Feelings...

It's my 75th post! That's exciting for me. Another marker in my quest to be healthy.

I read a quote today that said, "All of us must suffer one of two pains. The pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces and regret weighs tons."

I've been carrying around tons of regret. The deepest regret isn't so much the things that I've done, for those ease with time, it's the things I haven't done that are "inconsolable." (from another quote).

I've wanted many things over the years but the things I've wanted most are a normal, loving husband and family, to be a writer and to be healthy. I have everything but the healthy part and that's all up to me. I'm reasonably healthy despite the fact that I have diabetes but I am still grossly overweight. I know that it's up to me and I am having the hardest time whipping myself into shape so to speak. I have always struggled with my weight. It hurts to know that people who I have known most of my life remember me always being overweight.

The strange thing is...I'm doing it to myself. Why? Am I still trying to stuff down my feelings? What feelings? Let's take them out and look at them and resolve them for God's sake already. There are some things that I can't stomach looking at because it hurts too much. So I just change the subject in my mind. I can talk about Dolores dying freely and cry freely over this and this is one of the most painful things that has happened to me. There are some other things that I can't talk about and share freely. These are the things that are stuffed down inside. I must deal with these things or else I am going to forever be overweight and unhealthy...trying to surround myself with layers of comfort instead of carving out the sadness deep inside.

Ok, tonight is the beginning. I pray for the excision of my sadness and disappointment. Gosh, like I'm the only one who has ever felt emotional and psychological pain...

I'm going to sit in Yoga tonight meditating on these things and just take a look at them, sitting with them side by side. I think it will help. Maybe I won't be afraid to feel the sadness and disappointment. Maybe I will learn that it won't overtake me and that I can really combat these feelings I keep pushing away with pizza and salami and cookies.

Let the mountain come to Mohammed...

Positive Changes

I'm looking forward to a nice weekend relaxing on Saturday evening with Aaron and my Mom and then spending time with my sister and cousins and my Mom on Sunday at our Ladies Tea Party at our house.

I wanted to have a spring time luncheon for all my special girls close to Easter and I'm having a ball planning it all - light brunch faire, pastel decorations, tea, coffee, soft drinks and some wine. It will be a blast.

Can't give away the surprise menu, so I will tell you all about it early next week.

In the meantime, we are anxious to see what our new siding and windows will look like. It's going to take a couple weeks because Ray (our handyman) had to special order some windows. Luckily we will get a nice tax deduction for the new windows next year! The color scheme will be medium beige siding with white trim and a darker colored deck that blends with the siding. Then I will decorate in red and white. We also will have all of our outdoor lights in black. I even bought a beige mailbox and stand to go with the new siding. It has a red flag (don't they all?) and the address numbers will be in black.

With a giftcard that my Mom gave me for Christmas, I bought a red Adirondack chair with a cushion to go in the back yard.

I am feeling better. I'm getting more exercise, walking more, not trying to save my steps, running up and down the stairs at work, etc.

We're making positive changes on the inside and out.

Crack v No Crack

Ok, so we got our 3rd opinion on the "crack" in the furnace. There is no crack. What? We thought we saw the crack. The 30 plus years experienced furnace man came over tonight to show us that it is a line of rust on the outside of the duct work and NOT a crack. There is nothing coming out of that spot. He even put a scope with a camera through the entire venting and duct system to show us there is, indeed, NO CRACK! Furthermore, the original furnace company who came out to clean the furnace and the A/C really did not do a good job and he showed us the gunk in the system that was missed. So he didn't charge us anything (???) and said we should wait a month and then have our A/C cleaned out the right way, and in the fall have our furnace cleaned out. They should be done seasonal, not together.

"And oh, by the way," he said, "I remember your Mother. Dolores was her name right? Yeah, I've been here before. Is she home? Oh, I'm really sorry........."

So, when we thought the first company had screwed us, we stopped payment on the check. Then they came out and proved there was a crack, (or so we thought) so we wrote them a new check. Now we found out they actually did screw us. Oh Good God! Live and learn I guess. At least we have a regular furnace man now who also works for the home warranty company.

Aaron requested egg and bacon sandwiches tonight so I obliged. They really are so delicious. He has 2 and I have 1. I try to make them with everything else light and diet because I just can't eat fake bacon.

After dinner I had to run an errand to CVS and I'm hurrying up and down the aisles, then get to check out and put everything on the counter, give the young man my CVS card and he says, "Have you been cooking?" "Huh?" "Have you been cooking...before you came here tonight?" "Yes, I was frying bacon, why?" He says, "Oh, God, that smells so good! They should have a scent that woman can wear to smell like that on a date!" I laughed and said, "What, like Essence of Bacon Cologne?" "Yeah!" He said, "and garlic scented candles!"

OMG! I never thought I'd be ravaged at the CVS counter by a 22 year old!

Hmmm, things are looking up!

Better Day!

Aahhh, today was much better. Mom has to pay less tax than originally thought and we have to pay $0!!! Thank you, Michael (our wonderful and very smart financial advisor!)

I woke up this morning thinking what was I worrying about? This is all going to be resolved and we're all going to be fine. Good Heavens already!

We still have the furnace matter in dispute between the independent vendor and the home warranty company's vendor (who says there is no crack). The question is, how are we going to convince the home warranty company to pay for the repair when their vendor says there is no crack. We are going to need a 3rd opinion here. Although we can see the crack very clearly. Hmmm.

Thanks, Barbi for helping my Mom with her car issue. Barbi, my "cousin" in SC said if Mom trades in her car before the lease is up, she won't have to haul it back to TN. We are going to find out about this very soon.

For dinner tonight we had chicken, potatoes and coleslaw. Very tasty. Oh, by the way, the Mulberry tea supplements are actually quite good. They taste like berry tea concentrated into a pill (which is what they are). I have no side effects whatsoever. And I do feel that my belly has shrunk a bit. On Friday we shall know how much weight I lost. I hope, I hope, I hope.

I have been walking more and trying to run up and down the stairs at work. I recently read an article by Eric Heiden (Olympic Champion) about the pain of exercise. He said of course it's going to be painful when you first start out, then you push yourself a little more and a little more and your body will get the message that it's going to be ok. Then you do a little more and a little more and finally you are feeling great instead of being in pain. When you get to that point you look forward to exercising and feel great afterwards.

I'll have to admit, when I was in my early 20's I exercised quite a bit - dancing, floor exercises, walking, hiking, etc. and I did feel great after a good workout. I wonder at "going on 46" if I could feel that good again???? I think it's worth finding out. Don't you?

Comfort Food Night

Today was a bad day. Just plain bad for me, Aaron and for my mom. Found out there is a crack in our furnace which is leaking gas and obviously needs to be repaired. We also found out that we may need to pay alot of tax money on an investment of Dolores's. We're still working that out and may have to make payments to the IRS. (Or we may not).

My mom has a contract on her house in TN and will most likely sell it for $50,000 less that what she paid for it. She is a wreck over this. Also, she found out today that she will have to pay beaucoup denaro in taxes for her stocks that she sold last year. In addition to that, she found out today that her leased car that she had to pay $500 to transfer from TN to IL now has to go back to the original dealer in TN in August when the lease is up. This pretty much sent her over the edge today. She's immobile on the couch with a heating pad. (My wonderful husband has volunteered to drive her car to TN and to fly home so she doesn't have to worry about this).

So, as I "examine my relationship with food," I decide that we need a little comfort food for dinner tonight. I head over to Target on my lunch hour and buy 2 boxes of Velveeta cheese and shells to make for dinner. I added in the left over ham that my sister gave us from Easter yesterday and I added some black pepper and chopped green onions. We put some ketchup over it. Oh yeah, we also had a Vodka and Lemonade. Oh well, we were comforted.

Looking back on our day I realize...it's only money, right? Money should be the least of our problems. It comes, it goes. Sometimes it goes faster than it comes. But we have our faith, our health (which has improved from the last time I wrote about our Wellness blood tests!!!!!) and we have or love, our family, our memories and our stories.

We'll get through it, we always do.